As an HR professional, how much time do you reckon you spend stuck in other people’s drama? Whether it be a long venting session, interpersonal team conflict, or people sucked into a blame vortex, so much of HR’s time and energy is spent dealing with other people’s complaints and tensions. And that’s not to mention the time, energy, and creative capacity that evaporates from the people and teams stuck in the drama.
What would it be like if you could eliminate drama and gossip from your workplace? What if everyone had a practice of taking 100% responsibility for their issues? Imagine if these tricky conversations could be had with a playful, curious tone that helped everyone learn and grow from the inevitable tussle that comes with human relationships!
Sound like a fantasy? There is a way. It’s called the inner game.
The inner game reflects the science and leadership theory that states how you show up (e.g. in drama, blame and defensiveness v responsible, curious and connected) is a function of what’s happening on the inside, ie in your mind AKA consciousness. Most people’s mind is a stream of largely untrained and unnoticed thoughts. These thoughts fuel emotions, which are felt in the body, leading to more thoughts, which create beliefs which in turn impact behaviours. Our behaviours are never based entirely on facts. Instead we make up stories (ie meanings, beliefs and assumptions), which are always the source of drama, gossip, blame, bias, righteousness and defensiveness.
Using simple frameworks to make sense of the jumble of thoughts and emotions that disrupt your energy and output is a game changer. When I’m working with leaders to raise the level of awareness in their teams, we start with simple personality models to connect with how their preferences create strengths and shadows. Once we’ve established trust and curiosity, we go deeper with conversations about threat and trust systems. That discovery takes us to how our ego or identity creates victim, villain and hero postures that run our lives and keep us small. Training your people to pay close attention to these thought patterns gives them the power to shift to more skilful and effective postures as creator, challenger and coach.
When these practical tools are applied with some discipline, huge amounts of energy are unleashed in the system, creating the space for people to realise their full potential and achieve extraordinary results.
I’d be lying if I said this was easy, neat and fast. Like most good things in life, it takes commitment, leadership and a tolerance for discomfort – especially from HR. But the process is heaps of fun and hugely rewarding. Are you ready to end all drama?
About Yolanda Beattie
Yolanda Beattie is a leadership and high performance teams coach and facilitator. She helps clients access deep self-awareness and build a passion for continuous inner-growth so they can expertly navigate conflict, lift the collective intelligence of their teams, and lead and live with confidence.
She founded Yo&Co in 2019 after spending three years leading Mercer’s diversity and inclusion consulting practice and before that, three years leading the Workplace Gender Equality Agency’s public affairs team.
